Lisbon's Footsteps
by avid-amethyst
Summary: Teresa Lisbon knew she should be delighted at the thought of closing a case, but instead all she could think of was her infuriating consultant. //My take on the fateful penultimate finale scene. Please R&R if you love the Mentalist


So the Mentalist season finale alternately left me hanging of the edge of my seat with horror and clutching the life out of a poor cushion with glee. And I thought I would share the rudimentary thoughts I have about what Lisbon was thinking during those last heart wrenching scenes. Its very rough, but I wanted to write it before these ideas escape me forever.

**SPOILER ALERT:** This story is basically a retelling of the season finale. And its much cooler to watch it on TV. So do that before you read this!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters or even the dialogue in this story. And I promise, I don't even get a penny for making up Teresa Lisbon's thoughts!

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_Jane: He was here. He was right here._

_Lisbon: We saved a girl's life Jane. We saved a life… We have Hardy; he's going to tell us what we need to know._

_Jane: O you think so! You should have waited, we agreed on that._

_Lisbon: What if Hardy had killed you right here?_

_Jane: He would have led you straight to Red John_

_Lisbon: You'd be dead_

_Jane: But you'd have Red John_

_Lisbon: I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life_

_Jane: Well you think wrong_

_Lisbon: No. No you think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you, who need you? You're being selfish and childish. And I want you to stop it._

_Jane: I wish that I could, but you know some things you just can't fix. Me being angry is just the way of the world_

_Lisbon: We still have Hardy. He's going to talk; he's going to give us Red John._

_Jane: Right, we have Hardy… Yes._

_Lisbon: We saved a life._

_Jane: Yes we did. We did. Hooray for us…_

As she walked over to Maya Plasket, Teresa Lisbon was distraught. She couldn't help herself. She knew she should be delighted at the thought of closing a case, defeating the odds and saving a young girl's life, but instead all she could think of was her infuriating consultant. Thinking about Patrick Jane and the conversation they had just had depressed her more than she would have liked to admit to herself, and the fact that one person could harbor so much control over her emotions scared her. She always needed be the one in control. And generally, she was, but with Patrick Jane, it was different.

Which is why, when she finally stood beside her, all she could think of talking about was the paperwork she had to fill out for forensics. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to leave Maya's side. If truth be told, Lisbon wanted nothing more than to hug the girl yet again. It wasn't that Lisbon was a particularly touchy feely person, but this whole case had sent her emotions raging. Of course, if it was bad for her, she couldn't even begin to imagine the emotional turmoil Jane was going through, which is why she wanted nothing more than to hug him… err… Maya.

"Do you need anything?" Lisbon asked Maya yet again.

"I'm good thank you," she replied bravely.

_That's a lie,_ thought Lisbon_, We all need something. You need a miracle to help you get on with life without your sister. Jane needs a miracle to save him from the grief that consumes him night and day. And I… I need to save Jane. _

What happened next, Lisbon wasn't too sure of. But while she had been making her wish list, the supposedly knocked out suspect had managed to acquire a gun, kill a police officer and point said gun straight at her. She gasped. Everything was moving so fast. She reached for her gun, but she was too late. She heard the crack of a shot resonate loudly in the dry night air. She didn't see the bullet being fired at Hardy, so for a few brief moments she thought she had been fired at, and she waited calmly for the pain. It never came. Instead she watched Hardy fall over as if in a dream.

It took her a good long time to understand what had happened, and when she finally got around to looking at the man who had saved her life, she noticed that he looked just as bewildered as she felt. He dropped the gun clumsily. He looked more scared of that small piece of machinery than of any other person or object he had encountered this entire heart pounding case.

She knew it was a terrible time to be thinking this, but it occurred to Lisbon how delightfully ironic it was that a man like Patrick Jane, who only a few minutes ago had seemed ready to bravely lay down his life to find Red John, now seemed positively petrified at the thought of even touching a gun.

By the time she had told herself to think straight, Jane was already by sputtering Hardy's side. Lisbon took a few steps forward, but couldn't bring herself to go any further when she saw his blue blue eyes. They chilled her to the bone, because they harbored in them the sentiments of a man who had just killed for the first time. But even more than that, they were the eyes of a man who had just killed the only chance he had to avenge his loved ones, and he had done it all to save her.

Lisbon froze as the ramifications of this scene began to unfold in her head. But somehow she kept coming back to the conversation they had just in the basement. It seemed like it was all a bad dream that had taken place years ago.

_What if Hardy had killed you right here?_

_He would have led you straight to Red John_

Jane's entire part of the conversation had been a lie, albeit a subconscious one. It almost put a smile on her face as she watched Hardy being loaded into a stretcher for the second time that night. In fact as she got into the front of her car, she did allow herself the smallest of smiles because she realized one of the most satisfying things that had happened to her in years.

_No you think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you, who need you?_

For the first time since she had met Patrick Jane, she had been completely and utterly right about something.

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Hopefully you enjoyed my little angsty/fluffy one-shot! =)

Please R&R, even if you just do it to tell me how my work shrinks in comparison to the brilliance of Bruno Heller!


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